Tag Archives: alcohol

Antimatter

Did I ever tell you about the time
I ate two hits of acid
& washed it down with a Heineken
while I was in Big Sur
camping by a river with a friend
I thought it would be nice to go
for an afternoon hike while it kicked in
except I never found the trail
there was this droning sound looming
I knew I had to get out of there before
it was too late
something weird was happening
all of a sudden I felt like a sunfish
in the dust
I needed to go to the beach
at first I didn’t understand it
the sheer magnitude of the magnetism
the metal viscosity of my blood flowing
in these two hemispheres
ringing a screaming buzzing making
the connections between all this with
my hands curling up into my chest—
they wouldn’t budge—
I’ve gone retarded from drinking & drugs!
I’ll never be the same!
The acid was bad!

So I tried
& I kept trying
floundering in the Lexus
my hands wouldn’t move
pinned down curlfisted
I could talk & laugh
but there was a black holes force
yanking them into me all the while
I could sense the magnetic fields coming
off of me & my friend laughing hysterically
making fun of me
was I becoming a dolphin—
was this where I transform & go back
into the ocean like an animorph
right here on Pfieffer beach in front of everyone
past the ranger’s booth who took the 5
Did he have any idea what was happening
how was I ever going to get out
open the door & walk to the beach
I had no idea; I was paralyzed—
time was slowly passing though
whatever happened started to die down
right when we got there only so much
that it allowed me to unpry my retarded arms
from my chest but I could still feel this
overwhelming gravity shooting off of me
pulling into me like I’d never felt before
never felt again—
a lesson learned by poison’s collision
with a sacrament—I walked my magnetic ass
down to that beach with a smile so wide
a beluga whale coulda swam thru it
those translucent dark indigo swirls
in the sand from the volcano spun
all around my feet… the crystalline
glistening… the gravity of every step
moving in a cycling system of energy
the fat man in the wetsuits stomach
started beaming transmissions so I lay
with my jeans my black shirt feeling it
between my toes & fingers for hours
I can still hear the waves lapping
from ten years ago
like an aliens tongue at the spiral caves
inside of me I remember I never wanted
to forget it’s sweet eerie steel hissing








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Dicks & drugs

You can have
a hard dick
or a slurred tongue
but you can’t have both

Or hey what do I know
maybe you can
I knew a dealer
in New York
who had little blue pills

There’s actually something
I’ve never done
his neighbor told me
it fucked with his head
they both looked at each other
nodded & agreed

He had a couple pit bulls
they were lounging beside him
with their tongues out
as he smiled reminiscing
the fond moment
he was fucking this chick
& put her head thru a wall
verbatim

I could write tragedies
about some that I’ve met
back before there was Weedmaps
when gangster wannabe’s
stood between me
& some moldy catpiss that
hardly took the edge off

But I won’t—

A cock is not just
for playful pummeling & painting
piss murals on everything
a cock is like a barometer
a cock gives you a choice

                 Someday I predict
                 I won’t care as much
                 if I make it another thirty years
                 come smoke me out with sap
                 on the side of the trail
                 on a sunny day
I’ll have had so many
thousands of deafening orgasms
by then—tens of thousands—
it will all seem like one
about to happen

                   







.

Brittany

You were the tallest girl I ever fucked—
that alone stands out to me thinking back
among the sea of deviance like a peak in the waves

You must have been my height
or just slightly shorter—I think we even
did a side by side just to see back to back

I remember those legs
but I can’t remember your face now
other than the way I would catch you staring at me from across the room

There at someones party with your semidwarfed boyfriend
in Sarasota from outta town—Tallahassee maybe,
you guys seemed so close

I don’t know why then our hands found
their way into each others
while he was supposedly passed out right beside us—

There was no stopping it at that point—
we were too young or something—too magnetic—
nothing else in the world had any meaning left—

We had been born to find each other
sought out of height—out of hair—
out of the ringing in our hands down into your soaked booty
shorts

I had to taste it—
and soon my cock growing into belonging down in your throat
was no longer enough—

To fuck wildly trying to be quiet
he didnt even move
or make a sound pulling your black wavy hair back
my hand over your mouth in the dark smell of unpeeling
—I remember
loving distinctly how much of you there was—
the same reason we’ll probably be gone
from this world before everyone else—

You told me you’d let me do anything to you
and of course that was a total lie
but it sounded good outside at 4am on the grass beneath the willow—

How were we supposed to know
Rachel’s nana made her the blanket
we desecrated into the dirt with our mad hazy starlit ritual

You told me you loved him but that you needed me—when I came inside you pulled me in as tight as you could—I slept on my own on the couch & saw your myspace three months later still together



Old friends

I once had a friend
who was a paedophile
It’s just a phase I swear 

Someone found his stash
at a gaming party
when he passed out first
we all saw what he thought was hidden

We didnt even know how to react—
so we made fun of him and called him a CPA ’til he figured it out—

He used to wish me a happy birthday on 11/11,
was the last of my old friends that did so

But when I’d get drunk—I’d get loud—I’d
get crazy, unpredictable and insane—
and he would shush me to be quiet
like he was still afraid
after all that time
I’d write this poem out loud
for everyone to hear

The carcinogenic neurotoxin

I drank a toxic smile
to smear my eyes
a little further
down the canvas.

I laughed myself
inside out.

I imbibed a poison
just to feel like
one of you.

It is not love,
it is not hate.

It’s something in-between.

Who put this in the well?

I feel your heart beat
across town
in the night.

So here’s a toast-
for the further we stray
from the source
the higher the chance
of corruption.