Tag Archives: big sur

Antimatter

Did I ever tell you about the time
I ate two hits of acid
& washed it down with a Heineken
while I was in Big Sur
camping by a river with a friend
I thought it would be nice to go
for an afternoon hike while it kicked in
except I never found the trail
there was this droning sound looming
I knew I had to get out of there before
it was too late
something weird was happening
all of a sudden I felt like a sunfish
in the dust
I needed to go to the beach
at first I didn’t understand it
the sheer magnitude of the magnetism
the metal viscosity of my blood flowing
in these two hemispheres
ringing a screaming buzzing making
the connections between all this with
my hands curling up into my chest—
they wouldn’t budge—
I’ve gone retarded from drinking & drugs!
I’ll never be the same!
The acid was bad!

So I tried
& I kept trying
floundering in the Lexus
my hands wouldn’t move
pinned down curlfisted
I could talk & laugh
but there was a black holes force
yanking them into me all the while
I could sense the magnetic fields coming
off of me & my friend laughing hysterically
making fun of me
was I becoming a dolphin—
was this where I transform & go back
into the ocean like an animorph
right here on Pfieffer beach in front of everyone
past the ranger’s booth who took the 5
Did he have any idea what was happening
how was I ever going to get out
open the door & walk to the beach
I had no idea; I was paralyzed—
time was slowly passing though
whatever happened started to die down
right when we got there only so much
that it allowed me to unpry my retarded arms
from my chest but I could still feel this
overwhelming gravity shooting off of me
pulling into me like I’d never felt before
never felt again—
a lesson learned by poison’s collision
with a sacrament—I walked my magnetic ass
down to that beach with a smile so wide
a beluga whale coulda swam thru it
those translucent dark indigo swirls
in the sand from the volcano spun
all around my feet… the crystalline
glistening… the gravity of every step
moving in a cycling system of energy
the fat man in the wetsuits stomach
started beaming transmissions so I lay
with my jeans my black shirt feeling it
between my toes & fingers for hours
I can still hear the waves lapping
from ten years ago
like an aliens tongue at the spiral caves
inside of me I remember I never wanted
to forget it’s sweet eerie steel hissing








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35 ppm

Found a nail
                 to hang it from

I sent the water
                back from where it came

It was circulating
                    pushing in the oxygen

Flashback to when we used
                                     to spraypaint poetry

The roads that went to nowhere
                                         they ran out of money

Pouring rain and lightning
                              the smell of pussy and the shins

Acacia sap they sent back
                           in candles she said

Mountain dew and indole
                                   tiny flowers in Big Sur

They started kissing first
                      it was only natural

Blue bioluminescence in the waves
                   of the ocean in the middle of the night

There’s a light on
               out there on the boat

There’s a light on
                        in here because of me

The sparks of the tow truck
                                  Toyota camry in the air

Floor it in reverse
                    spin around in the field

You could walk under powerlines
                           forever but you shouldn’t

We loved highway 9
                       like it was our beloved

We were only tourists
                                     just like everybody else

We’d wind up in the middle of
              nowhere goin’ how we ever gonna get back


Amanita virosa (The messenger)

                      What have we done
          we have                             to go
         so far                                        away
       just to                                          hear it
        to forget                         what we are
              in the forest    it’ll be different
                              this time
                when we            come
              back                             it will
   Amanita                                            light it
      up at last                            or what’s left
                 of it                       I’m not
                       this             I’m not
                                  this
                        they hack sawed 
            his feet                          off
        left him                               by the side 
  of Arroyo                                    Seco road
     refusing to                           speak we’ll
         never know                 what’s so
                painfully            obvious
                                  they’re
                   bringing         panga’s in
       right where I                used to camp
south of Big Sur                  Nacamiento-
ferguson road                                 in Lucia
       2,712 and a                     half pounds
            of Mexibrick        on the way to
                                   Utah
                       testing      the waters
                for more               lucrative      
       enterprises                        three days
   from Baja                                        ten men
       windburned                     and tweaking
            who would               rather risk
              coming back—being caught
                                       at
                   the scene      of the
            landing                        than go
       back                                        
                                                           to them