Tag Archives: drugs

Back home

Now they’re finally saying
the war in Afghanistan
which they never planned
on ever winning
is too expensive
for us

Babies grew up
into hand me down drivers
in the time they’ve spent
racketing away at the trap

It’s no wonder heroin
is cheaper than it’s ever been
sometimes I wonder
why I’m not doing any
easier to get than a ‘script
a gateway sanctioned
by a board meeting

Yeah I mean I know the answer
I know the other answer too
I chainsmoke flowers
while I write

Let me elucidate
the fallacy
of opalescent economics
the psychopathic travesty
of profits over people

They say it’s cheaper just to use
the private contractors
who are over there right now
guarding the poppy fields
vantage pointing horizons
that covertly expanded
while our soldiers
tried to instill a pseudodemocracy
no one gives a fuck about
& died a freakish death
which they tried to cover up
a long time ago
back home

Back home where they are more likely
to kill themselves
than die by anything else

Back home the alien planet
the contractors relinquished
to kill on command until retirement

Back home in duffel bags unchecked
after nine months a new batch
the temptation must be profound

Back home flooded with fentanyl
from China & other even stronger
opiates overdosing just by the touch

Back home where states are suing
big pharma for knowingly setting
everyone up to turn cold & blue
 

Back home with CIA psyop brainwashing
on every channel every messageboard
every social media network to control us
how we think & how we act

Back home phishing for clicks with bot
accounts & links to malware for anyone
especially some more than others

Back home not too far from where the contractors
want to wrap everything up on their terms
whatever the fuck that mean$

Back home sniping innocent refugees
after Katrina just like they did
to the unarmed folks of Nusoor Square

Back home where their best idea
is to go big or go home with military & surveillance spending
they know what’s coming

Back home collapsing desperate
until the very last second it’s
already too late 

Back home where solutions will become
inevitable talking points against
an opposing party to strengthen theirs

Back home where they’d probably try
to kill us all but they’re vampires
that feed off us just ask Virginia

Back home hyped up & bitchslapped
by fear into blind compliance
scapegoating distractions deflect

Back home where you should go
it’s cheaper to do what exactly
if we already know all of this 

Back home not buying it but still watching you
just to see the type of bullshit & candycorn
you’re feeding less by the day
 

Back home cooking dinner in bacon grease
adding cannabis to everything
a dark orange hue that blankets the woods

Back home brewing like a kettle
for a cup of coffee watching it all
unfold from within the confines of a gulch

Back home ensnared but cut loose filtering
the bluelight getting a good nights sleep
I always keep a sharpened blade on me

Back home dusty & wildfire faced
black shirt, black lighter
black everything





.

Side effects

The whole house fucking reeks
no—I bet the entire
mountainside knows
today is harvest
like if a skunky cheesecake
grew on a plant
breathed it’s spirits
into the sky
one stalk at a time
the black hash melts
on my hands into my skin
my blood & bones
some of it was wiped away
with the honey off
my feral fingers at lunch
I feel like passing out
but I’ll write this first
it’s sticky then it’s smooth
I could roll up a ball
and smoke it, I’d rather
lay around and dream
with a body pillow
on both sides sprawled by a fan
while the cicadas light up
like fireworks—like that
thing that happens inside of me
sometimes you just gotta
wait some more
while the leaves wither
the mind wanders
quiet solitude
half way to heaven
I’ll wake up
rock hard and throbbing
knowing you’re out there




.



June


We started dreading
Our hair right around
The same time
Even though your roommate
Who was also your best friend
& like an overbearing older
Sister to you said we
Were ruining our hair
Yours always smelled
So amazing from the lush
Soap you’d feel out of place
Traversing through a mall
To get to & was
A little more reddish
Mine were basically just
These nasty lint magnets
That took six hours to dry
I’d tie them back like a hippie ninja
Or up like a pineapple
I’m not a tits man per se
But yours were huge
& beautiful, you were never
Skinny like me
We used to drink
Lip puckering teas outside
Your little bungalow
In St. Pete
The cicadas twisting in the willows
Above the air conditioners
Turning on & off
The same way
They’d eventually disappear
I used way too much vinegar
The first time
It was gross
It always was
Vanilla reminiscent tannins
With an acetic bite
At the back of the throat
Enough to turn the walls
Of your stomach into leather
We threw up in the bush
I went first, I drank the most
Not knowing what to expect
We lit a fire & forgot
About us by it
It was heavy
It was calm
Knowing where cathedrals come from
You had to almost carry me back
To your bed, it was probably
My favorite one of them all



.



How did I never realize it was a snake

Last night I was looking at some art
On instagram of all places, right, well
You’d be surprised what you can find
In even the most vacuous of dimensions 
Seeing circles inside of scales
Circles inside of scales of a snake
Hanging down above a mans forehead
Who was laying down with a river of tears
Getting wider down off the screen smiling
A hole in his forehead where the snake
With the circles inside of its scales
Dripped drops of water down into it
From its mouth—are you fucking serious
I murmured dumbfounded to myself
How did I never see this before


How did I never realize it was a snake




.


The miner

                                                      She was waiting
                                                by the open window
                                                  for the sun to set
                                                 smoking a cigarette
                     but it never did
                       that night


         The Velvet Underground spun around
         on the thrift store phonograph
                                  it sounded
                      almost like Aphex Twin

                    a full moon
                     or a straight line
                       insufflated off a mirror
had her hair all tangled
                                            tied back
                 like some sorta
                                    dying ritual


both of her hands &
        both of her eyes
     would alternate
                                       from screen to screen


was she a hunter—or a dopamine machine


who was she waiting for

                  in nothing but her striped stockings
                                             up to her thighs 
       a black choker with a ring on it &
       an indigo princess plug hidden

                                        by the faux tiffany lamp
                                   cross legged on the bed
                 in a small white room
             with a fat buddha tapestry
                                             twelve floors up
                                            with the window open


no encryption


 the screen turns off
  but the cam stays on



Ashley (how I learned I was sadistic)

I thought of you
when I clipped this carabineer
 to my hip

I never really thought you were attractive
probably because you were younger than me
 and blonde

Your hips were wide
but your jeans just kinda sunk
 down into your legs

You came to Florida from Massachusetts
smoked Marlboro reds
 scenecut studbelt blueyed girl

We used to knock down lamp posts
in your half-built neighborhood
 ’cause they were hardly bolted in at all

Sang Where I end and you begin
with the windows open
 stoned & speeding on the way home

After a couple of years 
your old friend Seamus
 came to visit for a week

He was looking for a mindfuck
asking everyone for mushrooms at the party
 ’cause he could never get them back home

Some kid rolled up in a Buick with a paper bag half-full
of fresh pasture picked cubensis
 asking twenty but was talked down to fifteen

He was already wasted
I hadn’t noticed it until then
 but he was also hideously in love

We tried to warn him not to mix the two
but there was no stopping that
 chain reaction of excess

Or maybe we
wanted him to learn
 the hard way

‘Cause when it peaked upon him
for the very first time
 he was brought to his knees

All he could do was profess his undying love for you
in the empty park mindlooping
 sometime after midnight

There kneeling in the thick grass
we sat next to each other
 on the bench amused at this display

He practically vomited that he loved you
and that he always had, over and over,
 like the words were caught in a circuit

“No you don’t, Seamus, shut up, you’re just fucked up.”
You told him
 with a sly smirk and a sideways exhale

Never before, and never again,
my hands were all over your small tits
 and my tongue was in your drunk mouth

We were on fire
and he began to cry
 unable to believe his eyes

The more he suffered
at our feet
 the more we felt alive


The elephant woke up in Mexico

When they built the wall
all they had to do was dig tunnels

They did it so damn well
the Israeli and Palestinians took note
on the other side of the earth


Ten years ago they took the moneys
out of the banks

A silent protest
heard around the world

You remember
the recession

The only liquid capital they had
was laundered and withdrawn

They called it a crisis
like they did when they sold
all the junkies into their scriptwritten plunges

What do you think happened
in those ten years down there

Over a hundred thousand dead

The sinaloa not taken down
but allowed to grow—
coaxed & cultivated
building tanks—laying lateral waste
to everything in opposition
until hijacked

Parade Shorty’s head around the village
like you actually made an impact

You ever wonder why the sewers
in Tijuana fail this time of year

Why the beaches in San Diego are closed

How there’s always a house
connecting another house 
already beneath the wall 
to keep us in

Sunglasses at the racetrack in Kentucky

They say all forces
coerce in pairs

Like our appetite
and their unmarked graves

Como prohibición
y plata o plomo

Desaparecido

Round ’em up boys
you gotta earn your marks
you gotta get somethin’
to write home about

The only reason
you would deport
an underlying driving force
of our economy
is to disrupt it
and that makes you
for a whole new reason
our sworn enemies