Tag Archives: friendship

Jeremy 

You were the only one who seemed
to give a shit that I was new
even though in Florida almost everyone
is a transplant at some point
we looked similar in that we were both
tall, skinny, white but darker skinned
with short dark hair
I remember your baggy polo shirt
& skinny scene skater jeans
I could see you probably never
brushed your teeth
you were grimy
hence where you got your nickname
I thought it was so gross you’d wipe
your cigarette ashes all over your jeans
here I am almost 15 years later
wiping joint ashes into my shirt
the last time I saw you it was evident
that the tables had turned
it makes sense, you two have been together
probably like six years now
you’ve been tamed
you’re not hanging out of my car window
doing 120 down the interstate
or throwing quarters
causing a suburban to do a perfect 180
come charging at us full speed
it was a straight up high speed pursuit
you cracked its windshield & we tore
thru peoples yards leaving two long trails
of mud in our wake
we could have died then too or worse
I hid in someones yard but he found us
ripped out his badge said he was a cop
but nothing ever happened
nothing ever did despite it all
I don’t think I was yet aware
of how traumatized I was
your dad was shot & killed
when you were younger though
so I bet you at least had some idea
I have a lot of stark memories
from our friendship, feeling like
I had a brother
you getting so pissed off
I can’t even remember why
throwing your glass bong
& it sticking out of the wall
unbroken just to spite you
rednecks want to get drunk
off Milwaukee’s best at the river
get territorial & start fights
we’d be smoking blunts freestyling
to some beats about how dumb they are
flooring it in reverse in these fields
where the roads ended
spinning round & round
one of those
waterfront developments
built a five story tower on the Manatee
downriver from where I lived
I don’t regret kayaking there at night
shitfaced & on a mission
or during a wildfire with smoke so thick
the sun was just an orange dot
even you who smokes like a chimney
still to this day couldn’t stand it
we went down also ’cause they saw us
we were long gone with the white noise
of the boggy water before they could do anything
besides—what would they do
tell us we couldn’t do
what we’d already done
try to snap our pics
on their flip phones
from the window
of their white escalade
you got a bad ankle
but you still skate
I can hear Panda Bear singing
got to do
what you’ve got to do
what you’ve got to do
what you’ve got to do
what






.



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Angel II

Those full moon nights
rising behind the hills
we’d hike up to Pogonip
just to see it
the whole meadow
to ourselves
and visible

in the moonlight
we’d accelerate
with micrograms
and a glass pipe
dedicated to
just this one thing
your pregnant wife said
she felt like
she was in an egg
after melting it down
into alien candy
vapor

It was as if
nothing could touch us
we must have been glowing
hysterical
they called this place
Heroin Hill
we navigated the tracks
by phosphene
past the headlamp bicycle ghoul
to the garden of eden

We passed right through
someones camp
a shadow
stomping a big staff
or his boots
on the earth
to warn us

Perhaps it was our
maniacal apologies
our incessent laughter
in the redwoods
that assured the man
we were just passing through

Like the river
passing through the place
in the forest
we called our home


Angel

I know, we
had work
the next morning,
but something
made us walk
to the beach
that night

A few miles north
up highway one
by the cave

You always pronounced
your Z’s
with a Puerto Rican S

You were always
Re a lie sing

How many little
cubensis we placed
into our hands
our mouths
how much
brown resin
from the trichocereus
we harvested
that would grow again
six where there
was once one

I remember when
you disappeared—
hide the mescaline
in the sand

Was it you
or the fire whispering
sentient knots—
an audible curse
to crack open the clouds

A line drawn
out of sky
staight through
the mist
above us
wildeyed
mesmerized

I was surprised
by how much
you had changed—
you thought you were
my savior!
I should have known

[No more words in this cocoon]

I was surprised
when we showed up
on time for work
the next day


The conclusion of winter

It can go
in either direction,
and it must be easy to forget
the divinity
you never had
but always were.

Time burns like cigarettes
wrapped in dollars.

Holding the dead confederates heart up to the starry sky
to light the pathway we must take
to get us there.

Anywhere.

We gave fire
a taste of our own medicine
somewhere down river.

If every note disperses,
but the symphony is forever,
then I just don’t
even know.

Every morning
someone fills a red balloon
and every night
it pops.

She stopped traffic,
lit her car on fire,
and jumped from the Sunshine Skyway.

Over time
I watched the anchors of ambition
get thrown overboard
fading away into the sea
of necessity-
I watched the dream world
disappear.

I drink from the old well
of paradox.
A pot of water on the stove
is my slingshot into oblivion.