Tag Archives: santa cruz

[name redacted]

 

Used to crush fourteen hour days—
now I rely on machines

We’d all be sittin’ or standin’
there under fluorescent lights

Would wear my headphones most of
the time in my own world of techno

Snipping away at the moment meditating
smoking charas constantly for weeks

I noticed you looked young for your
age, a mother, late-thirties—you were
jealous of my speed—

Like a modern witch with your skinny
short dark hair, black hoody and pale skin—

They’d come and go maybe twelve in all—
but it was your intense energy

That stood out to me the most—
we had something in common

You were beyond me in some ways—
we had feet on both sides

Hands that had reached through other
worlds and everybody knew it—

How long we spent in this room was
irrelevant for we were somewhere
else entirely all along—

Seeing you livid on the phone brought me
some strange hope that I was not alone—

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / 


It was pure automata—one evening
you approached me from behind—

Scissors no longer in hand
you worked your way into my shoulders

My neck—my back straightened out—
you shifted something biomechanical
on the right side of my throat—

We both felt it move as I was subsequently
propelled from reality into an all-too-familiar
neon vortex of light—

Fuck I must be dead—just like that!
There goes my aorta!

Yet through the timeless persistence it became
apparent that back there I was still living—

You were still pressing
while I was still flying—

You were still standing
I was still sitting—

And no one else in the room
had any idea what was happening

///////////////////////////////////////////////////

When I came back I told you
and everyone else

In endogenous ecstasy and disbelief
all was fiery—aglow and reassembling—

The dynamics of possibility may reveal itself
as gifts you can receive only once—

What was this that set us apart—brought us together—
and is it that which makes us just like everybody else

 

 

 

 

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Angel II

Those full moon nights
rising behind the hills
we’d hike up to Pogonip
just to see it
the whole meadow
to ourselves
and visible

in the moonlight
we’d accelerate
with micrograms
and a glass pipe
dedicated to
just this one thing
your pregnant wife said
she felt like
she was in an egg
after melting it down
into alien candy
vapor

It was as if
nothing could touch us
we must have been glowing
hysterical
they called this place
Heroin Hill
we navigated the tracks
by phosphene
past the headlamp bicycle ghoul
to the garden of eden

We passed right through
someones camp
a shadow
stomping a big staff
or his boots
on the earth
to warn us

Perhaps it was our
maniacal apologies
our incessent laughter
in the redwoods
that assured the man
we were just passing through

Like the river
passing through the place
in the forest
we called our home


Angel

I know, we
had work
the next morning,
but something
made us walk
to the beach
that night

A few miles north
up highway one
by the cave

You always pronounced
your Z’s
with a Puerto Rican S

You were always
Re a lie sing

How many little
cubensis we placed
into our hands
our mouths
how much
brown resin
from the trichocereus
we harvested
that would grow again
six where there
was once one

I remember when
you disappeared—
hide the mescaline
in the sand

Was it you
or the fire whispering
sentient knots—
an audible curse
to crack open the clouds

A line drawn
out of sky
staight through
the mist
above us
wildeyed
mesmerized

I was surprised
by how much
you had changed—
you thought you were
my savior!
I should have known

[No more words in this cocoon]

I was surprised
when we showed up
on time for work
the next day


Craterellus cornicopioides

I had a vision
while everyone
was sleeping
that I would find you
where the redwoods
met the madrones
I was to go there
alone
six years ago
with my perforated
medicine
water bottle
backpack
two paper bags
and some grapes
I must have rolled
a joint ripped a tick
off taking a piss
the old Winchester shells
rusted relics
for tarantulas
the hours walking
down trails
through manzinita
tunnels sweating
in the light
in the shadows
of the giants
honing in
on the rise in
blood pressure
the spores
in the dirt
                  It was right when
I had decided to go home
that I looked down
deep in the woods
and saw the dusty
black brain
beckoning
to be picked
before the years
of drought
that held them
down


Everytime I hear Boy’s Latin

I used to take off
                                         running
      as fast as I could
                                                 across the street
                like I was running away
                                 from babylon

        down the hill
                                      to an entrance
            of the forest of Nisene Marks
   before the rest of the world
                                                       was awake
and the redwoods
                                        were mine
                                                                   all mine

                                a blue jay alerts

         sometimes foggy
                        blowing snot rockets
  the wild cucumber
                                       raspberries
                       and limegreen mosscovered
          maples

                            towering redwoods
                                       dripping with dew
the floor of the forest
                                 covered in xanthoparmelia
                    and clavarioids

        heavy breaths
                                              heavy footsteps

            dripping
                                                with sweat

plowing through
                               last night’s
                                                     spider webs

                     crossing stonewobbling cricks

    a deer’s vertebrae
  attached to a stick
                                    poking out from the mud
                                    like a ka-bob

it’s funny to think
                   of everyone I brought here

                                                  everything we did

                           running as fast
        as I could                                  
                                  to the top
  of the mountain
                              before the rest of the world
      was awake