Tag Archives: watching

Jasmine in July 

       We made a pact
                                        never to tell
                a single soul
how long did that last
    I wonder
                  I don’t know


             you made up this word
                                snaggleclatch
         you’d bark it incoherently
                                   until they banned you
                            from saying it at school


             we made a pact
’cause we even knew it
                way back then
there’s only one thing
worth living for


         how were we supposed to know
       a pact
                  like anything
            can die
                        a friendship bracelet
                        that no longer exists
          & once bound us together
     like bearings in San José
      near Nickel City


we made a pact
never to tell
                                                a single soul
     chugging jolt cola
               watching porn      wondering
                     how to pronounce cüm
         scrubbing the history
          even though we’d always hear
          your hot nurse mom getting pounded

Grandpa was a retired sniper
                  he’d let us scope in with no loads
                  on neighbors from behind the blinds
                  with his tricked out h&k
            we were out on the pavement dreaming
      of handrails
up to our chests
      we’d never be able to hit
             not in a million years


      I’ve never
been much a stranger
 to being watched



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Brittany

You were the tallest girl I ever fucked—
that alone stands out to me thinking back
among the sea of deviance like a peak in the waves

You must have been my height
or just slightly shorter—I think we even
did a side by side just to see back to back

I remember those legs
but I can’t remember your face now
other than the way I would catch you staring at me from across the room

There at someones party with your semidwarfed boyfriend
in Sarasota from outta town—Tallahassee maybe,
you guys seemed so close

I don’t know why then our hands found
their way into each others
while he was supposedly passed out right beside us—

There was no stopping it at that point—
we were too young or something—too magnetic—
nothing else in the world had any meaning left—

We had been born to find each other
sought out of height—out of hair—
out of the ringing in our hands down into your soaked booty
shorts

I had to taste it—
and soon my cock growing into belonging down in your throat
was no longer enough—

To fuck wildly trying to be quiet
he didnt even move
or make a sound pulling your black wavy hair back
my hand over your mouth in the dark smell of unpeeling
—I remember
loving distinctly how much of you there was—
the same reason we’ll probably be gone
from this world before everyone else—

You told me you’d let me do anything to you
and of course that was a total lie
but it sounded good outside at 4am on the grass beneath the willow—

How were we supposed to know
Rachel’s nana made her the blanket
we desecrated into the dirt with our mad hazy starlit ritual

You told me you loved him but that you needed me—when I came inside you pulled me in as tight as you could—I slept on my own on the couch & saw your myspace three months later still together